Five Times Arthur Wished he Said Something, and the One Time he Did
by BlackBandit111
Summary: The title is pretty self explanatory. The 5 times Arthur wished he had said something different (to Merlin), but the 1 time he didn't. Ranges through the 1-4 seasons. No slash, just friendship. Oneshot.


**Okey dokey! So I wrote this a little while ago and kept forgetting to post it, but well...here it is. So yeah. Please enjoy reading!**

* * *

_The First- (The Poisoned Chalice)_

Arthur had desperately traveled to the Forest of Balor to find the Mortaeus flower, the antidote for Merlin's illness. He faced the dreaded Cockatrice and sliced it down with great courage. He battled against a murderous sorceress who left him to his death, and scaled a huge wall trailed by giant man eating spiders, barely making it out unscathed. Then, with the precious flower in his possession, he rode non stop back to Camelot, managing to get himself locked in a dungeon.

All in all, Arthur Pendragon was not having a good week.

However, there was a silver lining to all of this: Gwen had come by, a clever message passing between them, and Arthur had to hope that somehow the transfer of the flower went undiscovered. Until that time, he had been left to brood about the helpful light that was sent to guide his way when all hope was lost- but he wouldn't ponder that at the moment.

Only now did Arthur release the breath he had unconsciously been holding through the trek to the physician's chambers. Now that he saw the hunched form of his raven haired manservant bent over the table, probably spooning broth into his mouth to ease his ravenous hunger, he was able to relax. Arthur had been afraid to approach the entire corridor, for fear the feeling of death- death of a loyal and good person- would hang in the air. Yet there Merlin was, alive and well and breathing, and that was all Arthur had sought.

"Still alive, then?" He drawled, and Merlin turned sharply, smiling at him.

"Yeah, just about...I understand I have you to thank for that."

Arthur shrugged. He didn't wish to make a big deal out of something he had wanted to do himself, to help a fr- a good servant. It wasn't courageous, like victory in battle. It was simply the fact that Arthur didn't want Merlin dead. He didn't need credit for saving a life. "Yeah, well, it was nothing. A half decent servant is hard to come by. I was only dropping by to make sure you're alright. I expect you to be back to work tomorrow."

Merlin rolled his eyes noticeably, saying, "Oh yeah, yeah of course-er, bright and early." The sarcasm was almost dripping from his words.

Arthur turned to leave, trying to contain the smile trying to split his lips. "Arthur?" He looked back to see Merlin smiling slightly at him, gratefulness dominating his face. "Thank you."

Arthur grinned, saying, "you too. Get some rest."

Upon reflection a while later, what he'd wished he'd said was: "there is no need to thank me, Merlin. Good friends are hard to come by." Then, he shook his head to clear away the thought. He probably wouldn't have said this aloud anyhow. No reason to regret words he would not have said anyway.

_The Second Time- (Beauty and the Beast)_

After Uther had been released from the curse and Arthur had been fully revived, the Prince of Camelot found himself strolling through the corridor intending to meet up with Merlin. Arthur was, in all honesty, going to thank him. He _was_ extremely grateful that he didn't have a _troll_ for a stepmother.

Spotting Merlin and grinning, Arthur trotted over to his unsuspecting manservant. "Merlin. I want you to know that I never doubted you." He said, watching Merlin as a pleasantly surprised look crossed his face. Backtracking and realizing that that had not been what Arthur had wanted to say, he corrected, "alright, maybe I did, but it's your own fault." Merlin's face fell when Arthur said that, but the Price continued, warming up his suspicions of the last few days. "You've got a suspicious look about you. Shifty. Like you've got something to hide." Arthur realized that Merlin really didn't have a "suspicious look" about him, it was more of an air; at least, that's what Arthur told himself.

Merlin looked appalled. "I am an open book," he stated, blinking innocently.

Arthur barked out a laugh. "Ha, I don't believe that for a second. However, I do know that without your help, I'd still have a troll for a stepmother." They both paused, remembering the horrible outcome that could've resulted if they had failed. "Well, thanks." Arthur couldn't help but think that the whole conversation was awkward, but Merlin was now nodding, pleased. The Prince went to slap Merlin's shoulder, but found his manservant trying to wrap his arms around his torso. Withdrawing sharply, he exclaimed, "Whoa! ...What are you doing?"

Merlin was staring at him now, frowning slightly, his brows creased. "I...thought you were going in for a hug."

"Nooooo..." Arthur corrected, staring at Merlin like he had just proclaimed himself a sorcerer.

Merlin grimaced. "No."

Arthur lowered his hands from their surrender position, and Merlin mirrored the action, his hands having done the same. Arthur stared at Merlin for one more awkward, piercing moment, before shaking his head and walking off.

What Arthur wished he'd said was: "thank you, Merlin. Trusted people are scarce and I know I can count on you." But he didn't even consider voicing these thoughts.

_The Third Time- (The Witchfinder)_

"The sorcerer will be purged of his magic by means of fire! He shall be burnt at the stake tomorrow at dawn! Bear witness and heed this lesson!"

"You're a liar..." Merlin muttered, and Arthur had just barely heard him. "YOU'RE A LIAR!"

"Guards!"

"No, I'll deal with this," Arthur waved the guards off and grabbed Merlin from where he had been charging at the Witchfinder, the force of Merlin's momentum hardly stirring the Prince. Arthur pulled him down to the dungeons and threw Merlin inside a cell, easily dodging the fist thrown at his face. He grabbed Merlin's hand, pulled it expertly behind his back and pinned it there. He muttered into his manservant's ear, "I know you're upset. I know you're angry. It's alright. I'm not throwing you in jail."

"Then what are you doing?!"

Arthur released his hold on Merlin, the manservant springing from the hold. "Breaking the law." He walked forward, took out his key, and unlocked the door to Gaius's cell. "I can only give you a few minutes."

He only just saw Merlin's slight nod of the head in thanks before he embraced his mentor. Arthur watched as they talked quietly, regretting he couldn't give them more, couldn't help more.

Arthur had said that he could only give them a few minutes, which was true. But what he'd wished he'd said was: "I'm so sorry, Merlin, that this has happened. I wish I could fix this. Talk to Gaius, but you only have a few minutes. I'll see what I can do. If you need anything, or anyone, you know where to find me." He didn't say this, though.

_The Fourth Time- (The Lady Of the Lake)_

"Ah, Merlin. I've been looking for you." Because Arthur hadn't seen Merlin all morning, and had even gone to Gaius's, who had said Merlin had already left for work. Arthur had checked everywhere he could think Merlin was- even went so far as to send another servant to the tavern. But Merlin wasn't there, and Arthur had growing worry bubbling in his stomach, only to find Merlin here, polishing so many shoes it looked almost painful.

The raven haired young man didn't turn to look at him, instead hunching over his work more, and muttering, "yeah, right, er, you're gonna ask me to polish your armour and to, er, wash your clothes and clean your room."

Arthur, now sensing more than knowing something was wrong, approached his busy manservant and sat down next to him. "Something's been upsetting you, hasn't it?" Arthur said. It wasn't a question.

Merlin was silent for a moment, pursing his lips. "Maybe."

Arthur could only guess what the matter was this time, and took a shot in the dark. "Was it when I threw water over you?"

Arthur earned a laugh from his companion, who finally looked at him. His eyes were red rimmed. He shook his head, taking a deep breath, before replying, "it wasn't very nice."

The Prince, just glad to see Merlin laughing and happier, responded fairly, "it was a bit unfair..." Before adding, "like when you called me fat."

"Why was that unfair?"

"Because I am not f-" But then he glanced at Merlin and saw he was grinning. Arthur paused a moment, staring at his manservant, before putting him in a headlock and rubbing his knuckles painfully against Merlin's hair. "Still think I need to get in shape?" He demanded to the struggling young man.

"No! No, no!" Arthur let Merlin go, who rubbed his painful head, but was still smiling.

Arthur grinned, pleased with himself. "There. That's better."

Merlin gazed at Arthur a moment, before saying, "thanks."

Arthur, instead of saying more, huffed, and stated, "but you're right, you know. You need to polish my armor, clean my room, and wash my clothes." He stood up, leaving Merlin to flounder on the ground, before striding out the door to attend to his duties as a Prince.

He thought he had handled the situation fine, but he wished he'd said was: "I still wish you'd tell me what was really wrong so I could fix it, you know. But this is okay too. You're my friend and I don't like to see you hurt." Of course, he never would have admitted wanting to say this to anyone.

_The Fifth Time- (The Servant of Two Masters)_

"Merlin, always helping people without being asked-"

"Sh!" Arthur had been tracking _anything_, scouring the ground for any sight of anything he could identify as Merlin's. He had found nothing, going deep into the forest, and having to listen to Gwaine's thought-breaking non-stop prattle.

And now, because of that incessant prattle, they had lost the element of surprise to whatever bandit was lurking in the woods right in front of them. Jumping off of his horse and not bothering to be quiet about unsheathing his sword (seeing as they had already lost _surprise_) Arthur demanded, "show yourself." He lifted his sword threateningly.

But the person that came stumbling up the slope of the hill was not who Arthur was expecting. After the oh so familiar barking, relieved laughter which Arthur could distinguish anywhere, Arthur threw down his sword, marching up to his manservant. He grabbed him, not caring that Gwaine saw, and embraced him strongly.

"I thought we'd lost you!" Merlin's arms where around his torso, hugging tightly. Apparently he'd thought he'd been lost, too.

Arthur had meant this, and he had meant to say it. But what he wished he'd said was: "Thank God we've found you. I don't know what I'd do." There was no need to say this really, though.

_The One Time He Did (The Sword and the Stone)_

The clamor from behind them was unmistakable. "I thought you'd said we'd lost them!" Arthur exclaimed, looking to Merlin.

He grimaced and shrugged. "I thought we had."

"It won't take long for them to catch us," Tristan warned, but it was unnecessary. All of them were aware of the danger they were in.

"I'll go back-" Merlin started, but Arthur grabbed his arm.

"What are you going to do?" He asked, brows furrowed and lips drawn into a frown.

Merlin shrugged. "Create a diversion."

But Arthur was already shaking his head. "It's too risky."

"I know these tunnels and Agravaine doesn't. You keep going." Merlin said. Arthur knew what Merlin was saying made sense, and was logical, but he was still reluctant to leave his friend to face Agravaine and his men alone.

Resigned to the fact he couldn't stop Merlin no matter how hard he tried, Arthur said, "Merlin...don't do anything stupid."

Merlin shot him a cheeky grin, replying innocently, "me?" Before spinning and running back the way they had come. Arthur, still hesitant and possessing very little faith in this plan, stared after him before turning back around and continuing. He had faith in his manservant. Besides, he tried to alleviate his fears a little, Merlin knew these caves. But he wasn't so sure.

"OH, HELLO!" Came Merlin's gleeful shout before the distinct sounds of a noisy chase, and Arthur couldn't help but chuckle at Merlin's boisterous proclamation.

"He sure is something," Tristan remarked wryly, and Arthur was about to jump to Merlin's defence with a loud retort before realizing it was a compliment.

"Yeah," Arthur nodded, "he is."

Later, once they were a ways away from where Merlin had left them and he still had not showed up, Arthur felt worry bubble in his stomach. Surely, Merlin was smart; but he was also foolish and clumsy. Arthur didn't know if he trusted Merlin to take care of himself as much as he trusted Merlin to look after other people.

Making his decision, he grabbed Tristan's upper arm, the smuggler turning angrily to reprimand him before seeing the look on his face. Tristan's anger morphed into intrigue as Arthur said, "Merlin."

"He knows the tunnels," Tristan said easily, "he'll find his way."

Arthur wished he could comment on the fact Tristan had just willingly and uncaringly left Merlin behind, but instead said, "I'm going back."

Tristan stared at him unbelieving. "For a servant?"

Arthur was going to, again, jump to Merlin's defence; he wasn't just a servant, and Tristan was implying that Merlin's status didn't matter. Again calming himself before he could say anything, Arthur again realized that Tristan was inquiring why he was going back at all, not just for a servant.

But he need not say anything, because Gwen had beaten him to it. "You're wrong about him," she promised the dubious smuggler.

He turned and dashed down the way he'd come. Before he could get very far, he ran into Merlin, nearly bumping into him. "Merlin!" Arthur straightened. "Where have you been?"

"Why?" Merlin grinned, tilting his head in a way similar to a curious puppy, "were you worried about me?"

"No," Arthur lied, "I was just making sure you weren't being followed."

"You came back to look for me," Merlin stated. It wasn't a question.

Arthur caved. "Alright, it's true," he admitted. Not believing his daring, he added, " I came back because you're the only friend I have and I couldn't bear to lose you."

* * *

**Okay, so that's that! Thanks for reading and leave me a comment!**


End file.
